wait so genderqueer has certain connotations that arent friendly to AMAB people? I thought it was open for all non-binary people???
Not so much in theory, but definitely in practice. Look at the genderqueer tag on here and see how many DMAB folks you see. See what the ratio is of transfemininity to transmasculinity. Look at the "first ever gender-queer clothing boutique" that only sells “a menswear collection for those who were born female.” Search google for anything relating to genderqueer identities, and it’s dominated by DFAB and transmasculine people.
And it’s not just limited to genderqueer and non-binary trans* identities. It’s seemingly all trans* discourse. For example, a while back I went to a workshop on transmisogyny. Half the people involved were trans guys who dominated the discussion with talk about their experiences. Ask yourself if you’ve ever been to an event like this one in which trans women are just an afterthought.
Yes, genderqueer absolutely belongs to all of us, but it seems to me that it’s the DFAB folks and the transmasculine folks who take up the most space under the genderqueer heading.
urgggghhh this makes me so frustrated too ‘cause it’s not like there were existing cultural connotations abt the word ‘genderqueer’, it is that dfab genderqueer people actively and energetically work to exclude us.
this isn’t like ‘oh how unfortunate’, this is something you and yours created
it’s also really fucking telling how hard dfab genderqueers push to make ‘genderqueer’ automatically understood to mean dfab genderqueers, making us the marked other. and how fucking hard they push back against any effort to try and name this and what’s going on, accusing us of binarism and cissexism if we don’t accept a place as marked other and them as default.
like it’s particularly ironic because it 100% parallels terfs who despise the term ‘cis’ being applied to them and spin all sorts of bullshit stories about how this is OPPRESSING THEM and ‘woman’ of course just includes cis women~~~ like wow transmisogynists of a feather much?
I know, automatically, that if I see a post abt “genderqueer resources” or “for genderqueer people” or “promoting genderqueer people” it will focus 100% on dfab genderqueers.
and oh my fucking god don’t even get me started abt how much i despise the fucking “GENDERQUEER CLOTHING LINE!!! Menswear for female-bodied people!!!!”
or how a v masculine dfab genderqueer person who does not ever id as a woman bullied me out of a queer women’s space with constant commentary abt ‘male-bodied’ and ‘female-bodied’ ughghghghghghghhhh (like seriously if you are not a target of transmisogyny there is absolutely no call for you to use those descriptors and you can get right the fuck out)
like. for a little more context on this, I’m bigender/genderfluid, I vary btw woman and genderqueer. there are lots times when having to call myself a ‘trans woman’ for shorthand is horribly dysphoric and misgendering myself with the ‘woman’ part and i really wish we had better language for this-
-but it’s still far, far better than I could hope to get from trusting fucking dfab genderqueers.